Just my opinion

With all the award shows going on, I thought I'd put in my 2 cents.
You know I love The Killers, but there is so much good music out there. "Zero""by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs is seriously one of the most perfect rock songs I've ever heard. Meanwhile, anything by David Gray("Fugitive") or Ray LaMontagne ("You are the Best Thing")makes me melt--they are the new Barry White. Camera Obscura released My Maudlin Career in April (try "French Navy" ). A Fine Frenzy released a new album, too, but I still prefer her older stuff (try "You Picked Me" ). Oh, and Neko Case, if you haven't checked out Middle Cyclone yet, do (try "This Tornado Loves You" ). For something different, check out Lykke Li (try "Little Bit"). And right now I am loving "My Delirium" by Ladyhawke.
As for books, I think my favorite books I've read this year have all been either classics or children's books. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen topped the classics, and Neil Gaiman is a master storyteller: I loved Coraline and The Graveyard Book. And we have been reading the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan as a family--that has been a lot of fun.
TV--Mad Men has me totally sucked in. We got the episodes of season 1 and 2 on blockbuster, and DVR'd season 3. We also enjoy Castle for a little murder mystery. Brian loves Modern Family for sit com, but I love The Middle even more. And we both love Better Off Ted.
O.K. enough for my opinions.
Have a good day.

The rest of the story

You know, on a blog, you really never get the full story. I find myself editing out parts that will sound bad to people who read my blog, and that includes my children. And then there is the complaining you wish you could do, but then it's written down and fully accessible to the world, and it will come back to bite you. So your blog turns into a perpetual Christmas card.

For instance, it was 65* today. But the rest of the story is that it was also raining sideways.

We picked out a color to paint the entry way. But the rest of the story is that we have been working on it since May of last year. We painted the entire entry way one color (Benjamin Moore China Blue), hated it, spent $50 more dollars in sample colors, and finally settled on Benjamin Moore Seafoam. It will probably be another week or two before it actually gets painted.

We also met with an architect today, to discuss moving our laundry room and bathrom into the back room. But the rest of the story is that with each year we stay in Jersey, it becomes exponentially more likely that we will move the next year. So how much money do we really want to invest in this house? At this point, do I even bother to hang the pictures that are still sitting in boxes? Why has it been so hard to organize myself here?

This weekend, Brian is taking the Scouts on an overnighter. But the rest of the story is that it is actually camping. In the woods. Sleeping in tents. I know. Brian camping? In the winter? Willingly? It blows my mind too. I won't tell him what he may not know--that it's predicted to snow Friday night.

Daddy's home

Brian flew home today after being in Charolette for the week. He walked in just in time to have dinner, so everyone quickly filled him on the week.

Paris mentioned that we played at the park on Monday (MLK Day). It was in the high 40's, and after such a cold winter so far, 40 is the new 70. It felt great.

Athena showed him her braces. It took all day on Tuesday, and though she was a little excited to get them, that soon turned into despair when she realized how much they hurt. Wednesday morning she sat at the breakfast, bereft as she tried to gum oatmeal, sure she would never be able to eat anything chewier than milk-soaked bread again.

Notice the pink, green, yellow bands--Athena always fashionable

Tritan boasted that he made the winning shot in church basketball. That really is a big deal for him. He dribbled and he shot. And it went SWOOSH.

Not to be outdone, Apollo told us he had a new student in his class. And his new friend brought a gun to school. But don't worry it had fake bullets. "No, you can't bring a gun to school." O.K. it was a fake gun. "No, you can't bring toy guns to school, either." O.K. he didn't have a gun. But he does have a tail. Like a dragon. And he comes to school on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. "What about Thursday?" I ask, thinking he forgot Thursday. But no, he doesn't come on Thursdays.

Then Athena gave a very detailed retelling of her latest writing. And Paris showed him how to play G, A, and B on his trombone.

Now it's time for the kids to go to bed. And he's all mine.

Athena's birthday

Eleven years ago, I had just brought home our Neena, and was getting ready for my mother to come visit and help out.

Of all my birthing experiences, hers was the most organized, and hence, the most enjoyable. I had the same doctor I had with Tritan (whom I loved), and we had her at the same hospital, so I knew what to expect. We had her induced, so we had the convenience of arranging for Tritan to stay with Aunt Lisa, packing everything we needed, and calmly arriving at the hospital ready for the day. It was so calm, in fact, that once we were settled in our room, Brian asked for a cot and a pillow and told me to wake him if I needed anything. So much for excitement!

Labor was pretty unremarkable, too. I had a wonderful nurse, who kept urging me to "just let it out" but I perfered to grunt and hold my breath when the contractions were too painful. By lunchtime, I was distracting myself with Party of Five reruns on TV. Soon after, the doctor broke my water, and the contractions really started coming hard. I'd given up the romantic notion of a "natural birth" with Tritan, so I didn't have any second thoughts about asking for an epidural. It worked wonderfully and the rest of my labor was, yes, actually sort of pleasant. I could feel my belly tighten, and the monitor next to me would show the spikes closer and closer together and I knew that soon we'd have our little girl. When I felt the pressure that means it's time to push, my doctor was in an emergency surgery--another mother had lost her child, and he was doing a DNC. Since I had the epidural, I simply waited for about a half hour, til he could come. When at last the moment came, there was a mirror set up so I could see (the only birth I've actually witnessed), Lisa had arrived with her camera, and Brian was rested and ready to cut the cord. It was beautiful and calm--what a joy to see her enter the world, wriggling and wet and bloody.

Her face was puffy and her head was flattened on one side--the result of sitting in the birthing canal while we waited for the doctor. And she was skinny--so skinny--and so long. I'll have to dig out my journal for her stats (Am I a bad mom that I don't carry their wieght and length around with me in my head? Sometimes I have to count back to make sure I remember the right year they were born!). She was so skinny, her skin wrinkled excessively when she made a face--she looked more like a withered old lady than a newborn baby. No, I wouldn't call her a pretty baby, but I've heard you have to have an ugly period somewhere in your life, and I recall being grateful she was an ugly baby, because she would undoubtly be a beauty the rest of her life.

The year before she was born was one of the hardest years we've had. Brian had finished a MIB, but despite constant interviews, was still in search of a job. He'd taken a job at a call-center to pay the bills, and we'd moved twice in the last 6 months trying to find an acceptable apartment we could afford (our first attempt landed us in the "Roach Motel"). I had a friable cervix with Athena which wasn't anything serious, but just meant I bled a lot with her. And I had what I know now was antepartum depression (but they were just realizing this existed when I had her); I would lose my keys and spend the rest of the day crying. The day I had Athena was one of the happiest of my life. Instantly, my hormones righted themselves, and I knew we would be ok. Brian had started working in Finance at the call-center and he flew to CA for 3 days most weeks. He was a natural at the job and enjoyed it. I loved being a mom of 2. With one child, I always had enough free time that I worried constantly if I shouldn't be working, too. With two children, I was always just busy enough to be happy to be at home with my kids, but not overwhelmed. Our new apartment landed us in a ward called Paradise Lane, which was Paradise for us. There were so many young families starting out, we made quick and lasting friendships. Her birth felt like a new beginning for me.

And I was right about Athena--she has grown into a lovely girl. She has really blossomed this year. She's not afraid to try anything--she took soccer camp this summer, ran for class office, signed Silent Night for the ward Christmas program, and taught herself how to knit and scrapbook. She tries hard to be better all the time. I repriminded her recently for not being grateful, and now I see her try hard to thank us for everything. She is a good example to me for trying new things and always trying to do better.

This year we went to an indoor water park to celebrate her birthday. We spent the day riding down slides, eating pizza, and trying to forget the winter chill. Athena even won herself a stuffed dog at the arcade.

This is how you dress to go to a water park in January.

Riding the waves

Thoughts on the stand

I had to give a talk this Sunday at church.
The first thing I realize is that I am sweating, even though it is freezing. And I realize Degree used to solve this problem for me, but I bought a different brand, in bulk, at Costco, because I had a coupon, and this brand was not doing the trick. But now I have 4 more sticks of useless deodorant to use up before I can buy Degree. And so I am giving away a "Freebie". You used to wonder where people got products to give away on their blog sites. I think compulsive shopping at Costco has a lot to do with it.
The second thing I realize is that although you are 4 pews away from your family, you can still communicate. One of the announcements was that a boy in our congregation is collecting stuffed animals for his Eagle project. He had a nice little spiel about how your contribution could help some poor little kid feel comfort in a crisis. I looked down at Paris, in the 3rd row, our eyes met, and I cocked my eyebrows at him and nodded my head--this translates to "What to do you think? Isn't that a good idea? Maybe you should look through your stuffed animals..." To which Paris opened his eyes wide and vehemently shook his head--translation: "No way am I giving my toys away." So I smiled and nodded my head--translation: "You are getting too old for stuffed animals anyway, and wouldn't it be a nice thing to do?" More head shaking, more vigorously--translation: "You are making me give away everything that means anything to me. How can you do this to me." So I relented, and mouthed "O. K." --translation: "Fine. We'll talk about this later. Quit shaking like you're having an epileptic fit." But whenever I glanced at him, he was still shaking his head, and his eyes were tearing up. I realized then that maybe he was fighting more with himself than with me. He doesn't want to give up any of his stuffed animals but he knows it would be the right thing to do. We'll see what happens when the Eagle scout puts out the bins for collection.
Does anyone know an Eagle scout collecting deodarant?

Sweet sixteen

Our marriage turned 16 this Friday. Brian calls it our Sweet Sixteen Anniversary and I think it fits. He puts up with my cranky days without complaint, and I think I've mellowed out a bit over the years. The last time we had a really big fight the kids thought we were going to get a divorce. I decided that was actually a good sign: we fight so little nowadays that the kids think it's a momentous event. We made up for that fight by going out to dinner at Pizzicato, which is now our new favorite restaurant and where we spent last Friday night. It's great being 16 years into your marriage--the kids are old enough to watch themselves, we find each other hilarious (we may be the only ones who do), and we still think the other is good looking (again, we may be the only ones who do--Brian's growing a full beard, and in his black wool coat I made him buy this winter, he looks hot).

He had to fly to Charolette that day, early in the morning, fire someone, than turn around and fly back. What a way to spend your anniversary! But he managed to stop off and bring home a dozen white roses, anyway. If that isn't sweet, I don't know what is! Happy anniversary--I love you.

This was the Christmas that...

• Blizzard 2009 struck. It wasn't a blizzard the way I'd imagined it (and yes, my imagination was helped along with Little House on the Prairie scenes with blinding snow, and people getting lost and freezing to death). The snow just fell quietly and steadily for about 24 hours. It wasn't windy, and it wasn't even as cold as it is now, and the flakes were perfect, just like snow-globe confetti--it even glittered in the glow of the Christmas lights, and the kids played all day in it--snow-ball fights, sledding, tunneling. We had at least 18" but it drifted as high as 3 feet in some places. It took most of the next day to shovel out, church was canceled, and the kids had Monday as a snow-day.



• We went to the Rusch's for Christmas Eve. We had a great time getting to know our neighbors better, and ate good food, and heard great stories.



• The kids let us sleep until 8!

• We may inadvertantly started an epic battle by getting Paul a light saber and Paris a Nerf sword.

• We helped brotherly love along by having the kids exchange gifts. We tried to help them think of gifts that would help eachother develop talents: Paris got Tritan some drawing supplies, Apollo gave Athena scrapbooking supplies, Athena got Paris the sword and a book on Greek mythology, and Tritan gave Apollo some books they could read together and a dinosaur.

• Santa hid Paris' bike in the garage and he didn't find it until after all the presents were opened. To his credit, he was very thankful for all of his stuff, even if he didn't get what he really wanted. When we found the bike, it became the best Christmas ever.



• We ate Sticky Buns, eggs with cream cheese, and o.j.; watched The Christmas Story and stayed in our pajamas all day.


• Tritan won a contest for dubbing on You-Tube. Perhaps all that time on the computer will start paying off....If only he could win cash prizes....


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• I had more fun than the kids putting together their Lego drawbridge.


• We spent Christmas break painting doors and trim. When we tried to paint the entry way, I freaked out about the color, so now it is half-painted and I still am trying to decide what to do.


• We ate at PF Changs at 4pm on New Years Eve to beat the crowd.


• We spent New Years Eve at another neighborhood party, but came home to watch the ball drop. The kids were allowed to stay up as late as they wanted. Tritan claimed not to have gone to bed at all. The rest were up til 4:30am. We are still getting back on schedule.