Thoughts on the stand

I had to give a talk this Sunday at church.
The first thing I realize is that I am sweating, even though it is freezing. And I realize Degree used to solve this problem for me, but I bought a different brand, in bulk, at Costco, because I had a coupon, and this brand was not doing the trick. But now I have 4 more sticks of useless deodorant to use up before I can buy Degree. And so I am giving away a "Freebie". You used to wonder where people got products to give away on their blog sites. I think compulsive shopping at Costco has a lot to do with it.
The second thing I realize is that although you are 4 pews away from your family, you can still communicate. One of the announcements was that a boy in our congregation is collecting stuffed animals for his Eagle project. He had a nice little spiel about how your contribution could help some poor little kid feel comfort in a crisis. I looked down at Paris, in the 3rd row, our eyes met, and I cocked my eyebrows at him and nodded my head--this translates to "What to do you think? Isn't that a good idea? Maybe you should look through your stuffed animals..." To which Paris opened his eyes wide and vehemently shook his head--translation: "No way am I giving my toys away." So I smiled and nodded my head--translation: "You are getting too old for stuffed animals anyway, and wouldn't it be a nice thing to do?" More head shaking, more vigorously--translation: "You are making me give away everything that means anything to me. How can you do this to me." So I relented, and mouthed "O. K." --translation: "Fine. We'll talk about this later. Quit shaking like you're having an epileptic fit." But whenever I glanced at him, he was still shaking his head, and his eyes were tearing up. I realized then that maybe he was fighting more with himself than with me. He doesn't want to give up any of his stuffed animals but he knows it would be the right thing to do. We'll see what happens when the Eagle scout puts out the bins for collection.
Does anyone know an Eagle scout collecting deodarant?