Ask, and you'll probably get it

Paris and Athena are both having expanders put in at the orthodontist. Today they had molds taken of their teeth.

The hygienist that helped Paris came out to gush at what a good patient he was, and that, just for him, he could choose 2 colors for his expander. Then she found out he had a sister and so she thought it only fair that she get to choose 2 colors, too. This was all done very hush, hush, because, really, they don't do this for everybody. How Paris talked her into it is beyond me. He was also able to pick 2 different flavors for his molding compound ("Hey, I only got one!" Athena complains) and got an extra "Tiki" buck (the orthodontist's reward system) just because he asked for it. "Sure, Paris. We're really not supposed to do this but...he's so cute, you know," she says to me as I stand there looking perplexed and a bit wary. I mean, what happened back there anyway? Is she trying to pay him off? Maybe I should start looking for chipped teeth or maybe he swallowed some of the molding compound?

Really, I don't think anything bad happened. This sort of stuff happens all the time, especially to Paris. He comes home with books that other mothers have bought him at the book fair, treats and trinkets that other kids just had to give him, comes back from the vending machine with treats that complete strangers have bought him. Many times I try to make him give it back, but often I have no idea who gave him this stuff or how he convinced them to give it to him in the first place. Sometimes I am terrified to think of what he must say, and the elaborate detail he must put into the lies to get pretty much whatever he wants. But truthfully, I think he just asks.

I operate under the assumption that most people do not want to give or help you with anything. That neighbor is really rolling her eyes when you ask to borrow an egg again; the church member resents you when you ask her to help out on a committee; that stranger is definitely going to say no when you ask them if they can jump your car. My husband, and apparently my son, have a different point of view. They think that most people want to help. Brian has no qualms calling for last minute help, borrowing any and (sometimes) everything from the neighbors, or simply asking for what he wants from an extra discount, to fringe benefits--and people usually say yes!

The thing is, I have to admit that my husband (and son) are right. (Did I just put that in writing?!) Apparently, most people do want to help or give you stuff. I know I'm usually flattered when people ask for my help. I don't mind when people want to borrow stuff. And learning to ask for what you need is a good skill to have (I have another son who has a hard time asking for anything). So I'll try to teach him that not everything in life is easy or free, that you have to work for what you want, without impinging on his perspective that people are kind and giving.